Tomorrow is the big day, our first OB/Gyn where there is more involved than a pap smear and plumbing check up. It is the first time where I have to be concious of another being being "cooked" as my girlfriend Lynne said today.
I've been wanting this day to come for so long so I can know for real that I'm pregnant. I'm a basket of nerves and am hoping that everything is ok. I read all about what to expect in the book "What to expect when you are expecting" and "pregnancy and over 35." I shouldn't be this nervous, I'm familiar with the sturrops and cold "salad spoons" as well as an ultrasound. I know what that is, I certainly had a few of those in my life. I guess my friend Frank put it in the best way "tomorrow will cement it that you are going to be a mommy and we all will be here for you."
I am glad my in-laws are driving because I wouldn't be any good to the traffic gods. I just want to know what I am allowed to do and not allowed to do because this house is a dusty disasters, do they make condoms for dust bunnies <G>.
I am eating the best I can, nauseausness is making eating hard. I crave Apple Juice and Gatorade Fruit Punch. I am learning to be patient and to let stress go. I don't want to hurt the baby and if I'm tired, I take a nap. I am trying to look in the mirror and not see a fat person but a pregnant person. I lean on my friends as I can always count on them to be there for me.
I would like to feel something, emotionally. I want to let go and be excited, I wish I had the nerve to let go and be excited. Maybe tomorrow. Tomorrow will be here soon enough.
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