Today was fun. I was rearranging some cabinets to get another slow cooker put away when the room started to rock. I assumed it was me and my in-utero gymnast so I got down from the step ladder. As if on cue, Peter sent up "I have to go potty mommy" so I raced to the bathroom where I settled down with my kindle (only because I'm now addicted to the book "The Help.") and started to wonder why the towels were swaying as the a/c wasn't exactly on high in the living room, then the bathrobes started and I realized the room was swaying. I got up and finished and raced to the living room where my Grandma Wright's cast iron "mammy" bank was clanging and several collectibles on the shelves were doing the rattle walk. I mean I know Peter has gained weight but I didn't think I was waddling that bad <G>. I realized what was going on and got into a doorjam and waited for it to stop. I was also very proud of me, no panic attacks like I did in the past. Yay me. I was worried about loved ones but our agreement that we created after 9-11 worked like a charm. Can't call instate, call out of state or text. Happily my sister who was in Florida, did what I asked and I am grateful.
So as the initial shock of a 6.0 magnitude earthquake wore off and the laughter started from the relief of everyone being safe and the fact that nothing was damaged, I took out the trash and sat outside in an otherwise glorious summer afternoon, almost fall like but still kissing summer. I went back to emptying rubbermaids and boxes. Now that I have a little energy, I could rearrange a few things. I am hopeful I can get it done before the baby shower but I am not optimistic. Everytime I want to do something, like move a box, I hear Larry's voice in my head "be careful think of the baby, be careful." Sheesh, at this rate I'm never gonna get anything done. It is hard to "nest" when you are short one closet <G>.
Welcome to the third trimester. I am officially waddling. I officially sit like a guy on a subway who needs to make extra room for what he thinks is his extra large manhood, the kind of man I usually say "honey you ain't that big, slide over and put them together." then sit down next to them with the women around me laughing in agreement. No bending over at the waist without getting karate kicked in protest. Nothing like squatting and then trying to stand up. It is a Monty Python skit.
Larry and Sarah still hold the record for farting, I on the other hand have a son who can send up burps on command, it is so lady like. Larry will say to my belly "I love you Peter," and up comes a "Burp." He hears Sarah's voice "burp." I told him the other day we were going to Grandma & Grandpa's for dinner, I had a burp fest.
Sleeping, yeah that is now fun. I no longer can get comfortable. As I have discovered at our last ultrasound, Peter loves to shove his head into my hip and his tooshy just on the pelvic bone, it is his prefered location. However, for mommy it hurts. As my mom would constantly remind me, I sat on her siatica for the last few months of her pregancy so not a lot of sympathy coming from her, more of an evil giggle. We own a body pillow for me but as Larry discovered it insulates me therefore I get too hot to sleep and therefore too hot for Larry to sleep next to me. I am shoving a small pillow under the belly to help but the hot flashes are still awful. Three and half more months.
The amnio results came back and happily Peter is just fine. His weight is happily high, 2 1/2 lbs at 28 weeks and 9 inches long. The water sack at the base of Peter's neck is gone and he is just fine. Yay!! We now go every 4 weeks for a growth Ultra-Sound at North Shore New Hyde Park. We got our first 3D ultrasound and I got to see my son's hand covering his face as usual and with some pleading he cooperated so we got some good readings. He is a cutie.
I talked to a bunch of friends and am still happy that Ken is very excited about the baby. It has been nuts for him lately and with my pregnancy emotions I was being a typical over-emotional girl. We talked one night and we're good. I also talked to a few other friends via IM (who don't want to be named in the blog, job issues <G>).
I am hating the reflux as it is worse than pre-pregnancy. Pepcid chewables are next to impossible to find and the pills don't work as quickly so popping one and then chewing Tums is a routine lately. Managed to find PreNatals that are easy on my system and are not horsepills. Chewables are a girl's best friend.
We're still struggling financially but with a smaller rent it is easier but not by much. Ran out of money a week ago and had to keep 1/3 of tank just to move the car to an alternate side so no lunch with Suzie for nearly two weeks. I am enjoying going to lunch with her and getting to know her. She is 96 and so much fun. I am hopeful we will get assistance and food stamps as we could use it. Although I'm getting better with couponing, food is going up in price and I'm struggling to make the food budget stretch.
Well I am also getting really good getting samples, we've stocked up on bottles and diapers. Enough diapers for a week, yes it isn't a lot but hey, it is for us. Why? Because they came with coupons and free coupons.
I'm still going to school. It is exhausting because some nights I don't want to check in but I am still keeping my grades between A's and B's in the criminal justice classes. Will be taking a leave in the fall but I will finish the degree if it kills me.
One day at a time and as I finish this blog, Peter is sending up the "mommy I'm hungry" signals so I better send down some snacks for him. With how much I am eating, you'd think I'd be gaining weight but I'm not. I lost another 3 pounds but Peter found the calories and that is all that matters. Maybe I just need to eat some of Ken's BBQ ribs (which by the way are yummy).
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Thursday, August 4, 2011
No one said this would be easy.
A lot has happened since my last entry. I have learned that I can always lean on Larry, my inlaws, a couple of girlfriends and up until recently my friend Ken. I went through a few scary moments and had no one to tell me this is what is supposed to happen when you are pregnant.
We finally convinced my sister to let Sarah to sleep over. So we had her for an overnight and although she had some separation issues but she slept through the night and was fine overall. She helped us to register and had a ball doing it. She started to get comfortable talking to my belly and laughing when he would send up a burp or kick/punch my side which she felt when we would snuggle. She called this week to see when we can have another sleep over and we had her squeel in happiness when she learned we were sleeping at her house this weekend (Aug 6-7).
I am what is considered in the medical industry as an old mother. I am 43 and convention states that I shouldn't be a mother but women before me have done it so it is possible. I tried very hard not to have an amnio but with every sonogram, blood test, or screening test something negative came out of it. I was falling into a deep depression which then caused my doctor to suggest that I go to a therapist. I mean I have a miracle growing in my belly and all I want is something to go right. After talking to a friend, I decided to go forward with the amnio and I was suddenly flooded with calmness. I knew I was doing the right thing as scary as it was. It was scheduled and wasn't fighting a panic attack but fighting the terror of what was about to happen. We talked to the genetic counselor who I could understand better than the first one and she explained everything in detail. She said "you can pull out at any time and no one will look down on you. Its your body your choice." I wanted medical proof that I knew my son was perfectly healthy and to leave the two of us alone. We went into the sonogram room and the tests began.
The nurse and technician were very nice and let me listen to my son's heartbeat while they prepped me. I realized that Peter's heartbeat is what was preventing me from going into a full panic attack. They took a lot of pictures some of which we got to keep. Peter kept up his sillyness. One marker for having T13/T18 is a clenched fist, he proved that wrong by giving us an open-handed wave, curled into a thumbs up when I said "I'm sorry honey, Mommy didn't want to do this so please don't touch the shiny thing ok." and then promptly made a fist and started to suckle his fist. His goofyness made me smile through the tears. The nurse said "don't winch because we don't want to lose the spot." They did not numb me and it hurt like H-E-double hockey sticks. Peter moved his legs out of the way and they took three vials of amnio fluid and took the needle out. With that I cried because it hurt so much and as much as I was appreciative of Larry being there I wanted my sister or mom to be there. Larry's folks picked us up and I stayed in bed for the next day and half. Peter didn't kick or punch me much that day but I could feel him "scratching" me almost like trying to say "I'm still here." I hurt emotionally and physically but I didn't want to miscarry so I did what the doctor said and Larry hovered.
The next day was my 25th High School reunion which was fun. Two women refused to give me eye contact when I talked to them. I found that funny, after 25 years they think I'm the same girl I was in High School. I enjoyed it and a lot of my former classmates were hovering because they knew what had happened the day before and were happy I was there. I learned a lot from a few of my former classmates and it makes me respect them more.
I learned who I can rely on and who I can't. I wish I could tell some people how their actions really hurt me but I don't have it in me to fight with them. One friend who distanced himself and I did have a conversation of sorts and I know that we are the same when it comes to stress--back off and come back when it is over. One day at a time.
The following week after the amnio we met up with Dr. Charnes and learned about the "cliff notes" version of Peter's amnio and learned he was perfectly healthy. He had nothing that they assumed he might have. It was the "middle finger" I was looking for. She said to call the following week to hear the full report but I knew we could move on. She said she still wanted me to go to therapy but Larry said that I didn't need therapy as ever since I had chosen to do the amnio I was a calmer happier person. I am now bonding with Peter and Larry tends to walk into the room and asks "who are you talking to honey?" Well duh who do you think <G>.
I am learning to roll with the "punches" and the late night fruit cravings. Dr. Charnes' nurse is sweet when she says "step on the scale, gaining weight is a good thing." I haven't gained a lot only about 10 pounds but with the fruit cravings and rotissari cravings that should end soon. I don't want to gain a lot but I don't want to risk Peter's health. We are happy that he is the size of a #10 envelope and weighs 1 pound 10 ounces, this week we will find out how healthy size and weight wise he is. We finally agreed on an apple juice and I contacted the company Martinelli's who is sending us coupons. One day at a time is the motto of the week and I hope to continue that mantra.
We are now happily in month six and will take what comes my way knowing that ultimately Peter is healthy and we will be a good team. I promise him that I will do my best to be a good mommy. I am scared but I know he knows I love him and can't wait to see him.
We finally convinced my sister to let Sarah to sleep over. So we had her for an overnight and although she had some separation issues but she slept through the night and was fine overall. She helped us to register and had a ball doing it. She started to get comfortable talking to my belly and laughing when he would send up a burp or kick/punch my side which she felt when we would snuggle. She called this week to see when we can have another sleep over and we had her squeel in happiness when she learned we were sleeping at her house this weekend (Aug 6-7).
I am what is considered in the medical industry as an old mother. I am 43 and convention states that I shouldn't be a mother but women before me have done it so it is possible. I tried very hard not to have an amnio but with every sonogram, blood test, or screening test something negative came out of it. I was falling into a deep depression which then caused my doctor to suggest that I go to a therapist. I mean I have a miracle growing in my belly and all I want is something to go right. After talking to a friend, I decided to go forward with the amnio and I was suddenly flooded with calmness. I knew I was doing the right thing as scary as it was. It was scheduled and wasn't fighting a panic attack but fighting the terror of what was about to happen. We talked to the genetic counselor who I could understand better than the first one and she explained everything in detail. She said "you can pull out at any time and no one will look down on you. Its your body your choice." I wanted medical proof that I knew my son was perfectly healthy and to leave the two of us alone. We went into the sonogram room and the tests began.
The nurse and technician were very nice and let me listen to my son's heartbeat while they prepped me. I realized that Peter's heartbeat is what was preventing me from going into a full panic attack. They took a lot of pictures some of which we got to keep. Peter kept up his sillyness. One marker for having T13/T18 is a clenched fist, he proved that wrong by giving us an open-handed wave, curled into a thumbs up when I said "I'm sorry honey, Mommy didn't want to do this so please don't touch the shiny thing ok." and then promptly made a fist and started to suckle his fist. His goofyness made me smile through the tears. The nurse said "don't winch because we don't want to lose the spot." They did not numb me and it hurt like H-E-double hockey sticks. Peter moved his legs out of the way and they took three vials of amnio fluid and took the needle out. With that I cried because it hurt so much and as much as I was appreciative of Larry being there I wanted my sister or mom to be there. Larry's folks picked us up and I stayed in bed for the next day and half. Peter didn't kick or punch me much that day but I could feel him "scratching" me almost like trying to say "I'm still here." I hurt emotionally and physically but I didn't want to miscarry so I did what the doctor said and Larry hovered.
The next day was my 25th High School reunion which was fun. Two women refused to give me eye contact when I talked to them. I found that funny, after 25 years they think I'm the same girl I was in High School. I enjoyed it and a lot of my former classmates were hovering because they knew what had happened the day before and were happy I was there. I learned a lot from a few of my former classmates and it makes me respect them more.
I learned who I can rely on and who I can't. I wish I could tell some people how their actions really hurt me but I don't have it in me to fight with them. One friend who distanced himself and I did have a conversation of sorts and I know that we are the same when it comes to stress--back off and come back when it is over. One day at a time.
The following week after the amnio we met up with Dr. Charnes and learned about the "cliff notes" version of Peter's amnio and learned he was perfectly healthy. He had nothing that they assumed he might have. It was the "middle finger" I was looking for. She said to call the following week to hear the full report but I knew we could move on. She said she still wanted me to go to therapy but Larry said that I didn't need therapy as ever since I had chosen to do the amnio I was a calmer happier person. I am now bonding with Peter and Larry tends to walk into the room and asks "who are you talking to honey?" Well duh who do you think <G>.
I am learning to roll with the "punches" and the late night fruit cravings. Dr. Charnes' nurse is sweet when she says "step on the scale, gaining weight is a good thing." I haven't gained a lot only about 10 pounds but with the fruit cravings and rotissari cravings that should end soon. I don't want to gain a lot but I don't want to risk Peter's health. We are happy that he is the size of a #10 envelope and weighs 1 pound 10 ounces, this week we will find out how healthy size and weight wise he is. We finally agreed on an apple juice and I contacted the company Martinelli's who is sending us coupons. One day at a time is the motto of the week and I hope to continue that mantra.
We are now happily in month six and will take what comes my way knowing that ultimately Peter is healthy and we will be a good team. I promise him that I will do my best to be a good mommy. I am scared but I know he knows I love him and can't wait to see him.
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